Dear Bunmi,
My ex-girlfriend left me feeling so paranoid about sex that I am now nervous about getting involved with women again. I suffer from premature ejaculation and she made me feel like it was my fault and somehow I was doing it just to spite her.
She kept telling me only “kids” suffer from it and I should ‘grow up’ and learn to satisfy a woman.
Is there a pill I could take to cure it?
I’ve tried most of the recommended methods but none works very well.
If there isn’t a drug, is there anything else you could suggest?
Albert, by e-mail
Dear Albert,
Of course, it is not your fault. One in three men struggles with premature ejaculation (PE), at some point in their lives.
It can happen to anyone no matter how old or sexually experienced you are. Your ex-girlfriend is as misguided as she is rude. You’re lucky to be rid of her!
There is a lot of research being done on PE. Some of the latest thinking is that it could be hereditary. It could also have something to do with the levels of chemicals (serotonin and dopamine) in your brain.
High levels of dopamine appear to trigger early ejaculation and high levels of serotonin appear to delay it.
Drugs like anti-depressants can help restore the balance and getting lots of exercise also seems to help.
Scientists are currently working on a pill to ‘cure’ PE. But it has to be perfected and approved, and drugs are not the answer for everyone.
In the meantime, you can learn to manage your PE. Go to the American website www.goodinbed.com and download an e-book called Overcoming Premature Ejaculation.
It is said to be the best book on the subject, and it covers the practical and emotional aspects.
Read it, do the exercises and when you feel confident, start dating again.
Not all women are as unsympathetic as your ex!
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